An interesting thing about the heart is that even as we think it has burnt up we discover a small flame resides within the ashes of destruction. It struggles to regain life. The heart is much like the phoenix for it can dies many times and suffer the pains of the world and somehow it always rises again weak at first then stronger then before. Sometimes longing for the rest of eternity while enslaved to this cycle of passion and pain. Yet finding purpose in this cycle so it is not all in vain.
My heart expanded to meet the depths and intensity of your love only to be left forever never being able to fill it back up. Content before I knew everything that you now make me miss. The hollow that leaves every suitor inadequate in your shadow. Now to be forever dissatisfied with anything else if not you. Nothing seems to keep feed this void that you left inside my soul as if a piece of me had been ripped from my very being.
So did this bear the same effects upon your mind and heart? Are you now as empty inside as you left me here stuck in time. Are you content to lay your head down at night knowing what you have done? Knowing your self destructive nature I can not help but to wonder if you enjoy the hollow within you. Do you smirk when knowing that now it will always be you no matter who I want to choose and try to fill this void. I know nothing to satisfy the hunger that you left inside me. Was it on purpose so you were not the only one. Why could you not give to me a small piece, some closure for this passion burnt freshly extinguished being. Is it because you know that no matter now hard I fight it there will always be a flame left burning for your return, no matter to who I deny this.
Now every person is like kinder to this fire that they feed and then quickly burn up because they could never compare to your fire. This must mean that I too am self destructive knowing the very nature of fire and yet longing to bast within its flames knowing the long lasting consequences of doing so. Now every person sparks and then is dead to me as if to tease my longing heart. And if the one thing you truly wanted was for another to understand then I congratulate you on your successful invoking of such feeling. Yet you know that no language on earth can portray what I am really trying to say to you. But my life bears proof to the words I can not speak. My art reflects this hollow that you have created when destroying my heart. That's how creation works. To destroy only gives birth to something new.
Do you fancy yourself a god of creation by turning me into the same. Do you feel in good company now that I too have this cursed gift of destructive creation. This balance of chaos that spins intricate webs within the world. Every day i thank you for what I can never forgive you for doing. Bitterly I smirk at those who I have done this very thing to. So that another can suffer the depths of this passion. This circle that does engross the world from intricacy to even simplicity in the human race on any and every level so that the world keeps spinning for you. So you can create. I do it all for you because I know no other way. Because you changed me and added this complexity that can not be reversed.

Though much time had passed I can never let this go! Shawn Clark
Shawn the impaler, yes you lover! This is for you!

Forever, Pearl

Please do not make me carry this beautiful burden alone!